I need some space

This, and other things, is what he said to me as he dumped me. This time it's for good.

I'm taking a break from writing until I feel like communicating with the world again. As Greta Garbo said "I want to be alone." I cannot focus on daily changes when I am in so much pain.

I won't forget about you all, and I will be back.

Day 67 and 68 Green Sports and Making Do

I'm fascinated with roller derby. Maybe it's the fierce beauty of these women, maybe it's the punk aesthetic, or maybe its because it is everything that I am not, but wonder if I could be. In any case, yesterday I went to my first bout. It was raucous, friendly, violent (a girl broke her jaw), and it was surprisingly green.

It was held in an old air hanger that had skylights, so aside from the electricity that was used to run the sound system, there was no power used. No overhead lighting, no electronic scoreboard (they use white boards and dry erase markers), and they skate on a flat, concrete oval that has been made on the floor using a taped down rubber hose to indicate borders. Yes, bottled water abounded, but many participants were sporting their own water bottles, and some brought their own sliced fruits and vegetables from home to snack on at intermission. The spectators sat on metal bleachers, or on personal lawn chairs, and the skaters (and some of the referees) make their own outfits, cobbled together with various articles of clothing and accessories. Fascinating!

Time will tell if I have the guts to get into this. They have a training program, aptly titled 'fresh meat' that starts in November.

One of my latest issues has been that, while I love riding my bicycle, I don't own a messenger-style bag that I can wear across my body to store things like my wallet and phone in while I ride. A shoulder purse does not work, so I end up wearing my huge backpack when really all I have to carry are a few things.

So, instead of going out, spending money and buying a bag (how I dearly love shopping when I need something), I made a bag, out of fabric and supplies that I already owned. I didn't even buy new fabric (which is SO HARD). I made do.

Day 66 Healthy Food Choices when Eating Out

Tonight I am going out to dinner at Fresh, a vegetarian/vegan restaurant with several locations here in Toronto. I've never been, but Vanessa went there often in her book, and I'm always up for a new restaurant.

It used to be that I could stick to a healthy eating plan when eating at home, and then when I went out, all of my good work would go out the window and sometimes I'd gain as much as 3lbs at one dinner (spaghetti). Not any more. From now on, my dining out choices will be healthy. Not necessarily vegetarian or vegan, but I will order the healthiest thing on the menu, and question the waiter thoroughly as to how it was prepared. Going out to eat shouldn't be a free for all, and heavens knows that in most cases, I can cook better food at home than what they are serving at the places I end up eating. Quality over quantity.

Day 65 Inspire others to Consider the Planet

A friend of mine is in a military band. Recently, this band, along with a few other military bands, (some from out of town) got together and performed a massed concert at an outdoor soccer stadium. A few days before the concert, the weather was sunny and hot, and cases of bottled water were brought in to make sure that everyone stayed hydrated.

At the end of the rehearsal one night, it was noticed that a few cases of water were missing. It was discovered that the out of town bands had taken some of the cases back to their hotel rooms, to avoid paying for bottled hotel water.

This was unacceptable, as this water was supposed to be for everyone. At a follow-up meeting, suggestions were asked for as how to avoid this issue at next year's concert. My friend spoke up and suggested that instead of bottled water, the military should use large water tanks with spouts, and encourage the musicians to bring their own thermoses to fill from the tank. This would save money, as the military already owned said tanks, and there would be no waste.

I'm SO proud!

Day 64 No more giftcards unless they are homemade

I'm the sort of person who gives a lot of thought to upcoming birthdays, anniversaries and reasons to celebrate. I never forget these events, and I always make sure to get my Hallmark greeting in the mail on time to reach the recipient before the event.

Have you LOOKED at the price of greeting cards lately? Holy crap! $6! For a piece of paper with a picture and a lame verse, sold with an over sized envelope that requires additional postage! People, and I'm not naming names here (*cough my parents cough*) haven't embraced the notion of e-greetings. They miss the tradition of receiving something in the mail that they can display on the piano. A piece of paper they have to print themselves from their email just doesn't cut it. Not to mention that my mother has saved every card she's ever received, since before she and my father got married, 36 years ago.

Well hell, from now on, I'm making my own greeting cards. I'm artistic, I'm creative and I'm poetic. On occasions, I can even be funny. Take that, Shoebox Greetings.

Day 63 Pare down what you own

Who really needs one facial cleanser for the bathroom counter, another for in the shower, a third that only takes care of eye makeup, and a fourth one for the travel bag? How did I get so wasteful?

Actually, it was easy. It's easy to lose track of all the things you buy, and even easier (for me, at least) to replace things that get used up without even considering doing without. If I'm out of cleanser for the sink, I add it to the grocery list and pick more up the next time I am in the store. Never mind that there is a perfectly good cleanser sitting 5 feet away in the shower that I can use. And one under the sink.

Nope, I don't need all these things anymore. Consolidate, recycle, and reduce.

My vegan challenge is going well. I don't even miss meat. I don't even think about it. All I'm thinking about is wow, this food is tasty, and I've never cooked this before, so let's dig in. These delicious recipes make so much food that I'm stretching my 5 days to 10, and maybe even 15, because frankly I can't stand wasting food, and I'm the only one eating this stuff. I did step on the scale this morning and had a moment of sheer horror at seeing a number I hadn't even imagined. Time to focus and get serious about this losing weight/getting in shape/police officer thing.

Day 62 Watering Plants at Night

Another easy change. Water should go to the roots, not evaporation. Hence, I may get to water less.

I have quite a few plants around my place. Two African violets, an English ivy, a couple of tropical looking things that I picked up at Ikea, a philodendron, an azalea, a majesty palm, my herb garden and giant pot of rosemary, and then there's my gardenia tree.

This tree has given me more trouble and stress than any plant I have ever owned. It is a difficult specimen, preferring acidic soil, just the right amount of water and light, and perfect temperatures. The reward for all of this? Gorgeous, utterly fragrant pure white blooms against dark green glossy foliage. I love this tree beyond reason. Which is why I am super stressed right now that the leaves are turning yellow (no, no drainage problem) and while it is covered in buds, the buds bloom slightly, turn yellow, and die.

Time for some research. I will not lose this plant.